Every time I get the creative urge to do something all my ideas for things come to the surface wanting to be done. I have multiple games, multiple websites, multiple stories just waiting to be created and I just get overwhelmed by everything I want to do. The sad thing when I get this way it makes me not want to do any of them because I get stuck at what I want to do first.

Then there’s media. Right now I have multiple YouTube channels I follow and honestly when I can’t motivate myself to do something I just go there to not do anything. I’m realizing it more and more that I use YouTube as a escape. I am constantly refreshing it to find new content, and honestly I really don’t care.

It does help that during the week I barely have time to myself to do things. I get home, eat with my roommate, maybe have 30 minutes before bed and then start the day cycle all over again. Also having an hour commute one way doesn’t help. I do like my job but it doesn’t fulfill a creative need from me.

I want to organize my thoughts some where but everything is now a subscription service or drained for AI or some other BS that just makes it so disheartening to create anything anymore.

Also yes been another year since I have posted anything and this is basically why.

Cyan